The Clone Wars and the Self War

I’ve been a Star Wars fan for as long as I can remember. I don’t imagine my story is much different than that of others: falling in love with the movies at a young age, toy lightsaber after toy lightsaber, seeing every new release in theaters on opening day (since Revenge of the Sith, which I saw when I was nine—and covered my eyes during the immolation scene). That doesn’t make my experience any less special to me. I’m old enough now to realize the shortcomings, from overall aspects to more specific grievances, but I’ll be damned the day I don’t smile at the ignition of a lightsaber.

Yet for all that, I never watched The Clone Wars series. I remember seeing the film with my dad and sister back in 2008 and being sorely disappointed, but that’s not what deterred me. Nothing did, really. I recall watching an episode or two back when cable was still a thing; I even remember giving the show a good college try during its stay on Netflix, enjoying the few episodes I saw, and stopping inexplicably. It was truly a mystery: a Star Wars junkie like me all but ignoring an entire portion of the canon—and a widely revered portion, at that. My brother and I finally decided to just go ahead and watch it once and for all recently, wanting to see what all the fuss was about.

Over the course of 130+ episodes, not every storyline is going to be a hit, especially considering the anthology-like nature of the series (which George Lucas intended). Most of the one-offs and arcs centered around droids fall short (though thankfully, R2-D2 remains an absolute legend), and not every story about newer characters works. And Jar Jar Binks? He’s as abysmal as ever. My brother and I tried our damndest to stick out even the episodes we weren’t really enjoying, but Jar Jar broke us. The Gungan was at the heart of much of the content we skipped. How Lucas included focus episodes for him is beyond comprehension—actually, how Lucas came up with both Jar Jar and Darth Vader is beyond comprehension. But I digress.

Aside from the straight-up bad stuff, some of TCW was just okay, but the majority of it is a fascinating and unique look at the Star Wars universe. Padmé is stronger than ever, providing a focus on galactic politics that far exceeds anything the prequels have to offer. (I’m not afraid to admit I love the prequels, but that admission comes with the caveat that the love is not unconditional.) Her romance with Anakin is (mostly) better than it is in the prequels, too, as is Anakin himself. Seriously, he’s done so well here you can almost forgive his live-action faults. Paired with Obi-Wan—my favorite Star Wars character, and one who’s in top form in TCW—he’s entertaining, interesting, and just plain awesome. Honestly, most of the pre-established characters (bar Jar Jar) are done excellently, especially Palpatine.

I’d be remiss not to credit two TCW originals, however: Captain Rex and Ahsoka Tano. The clones are never the focus of the Jedi-centric films, but this series fills in many of the gaps, humanizing the troopers and making Order 66 all the more tragic. There are lots of great ones I could point out (Fives, Heavy, Echo—the list goes on), but Rex is the best of the bunch. With Ahsoka, we get a deconstruction of the Jedi the likes of which none of the films manage to do as well. She is a paragon of character development, and undoubtedly my favorite Star Wars character after Obi-Wan. There’s much to say about her and Rex both, but I won’t spoil anything. Just trust me when I tell you, Dear Reader: if you love Star Wars and haven’t watched the TCW for whatever reason, don’t make the same mistake I did. Watch it. Watch it now.

As for the “Self War” I mentioned in this post’s title… I don’t want to spend too much time talking about it, but humor me for just a bit. Despite not really touching on how 2020 went for me and how I talked about it in my previous post… we all had a rough time of it. That’s no great secret. So, I want to be better as time marches ever onward—better in every aspect. That’s one of the many things in life that’s easier said than done, so what am I actually doing about it? Well, for one thing, I bought a planner. I don’t know that I’ll use it consistently, but it helps keep me organized when I need to be. For another thing, I want to build my body back up. I lost a bit of weight over the past year, and while I don’t consider physical image to be as important as one’s mind, it still matters to me. I’d rather not waste away, y’know? I’ve already found a workout routine to get me started on the right path. Lastly and most importantly, I’m writing more.

I used to believe that writing every day was the only way to move forward, but I found that drained me. I then believed that writing when I felt like it was the natural outgrowth of my failure, which only led to slacking. Nowadays, I’m working on striking a balance between the two philosophies, writing what I can every night without going overboard or feeling guilty if I need to take a break. Some nights, I’ll just listen to an episode of Writing Excuses, take notes, do the given exercise, and call it a night. Other nights, I’ll work on my book—which is moving in a much different direction after a conversation with my brother (my other brother—not the one I watched TCW with). Still other nights, I’ll touch up an old story, start a new one, or just brainstorm. No pressure, but no giving up, either.

We all know how the Clone Wars end, but the Self War? Time will tell. I know I’m not the only one fighting it, so I wish you the best of luck, Dear Reader—even if Obi-Wan doesn’t believe in such things.