Belated Birthday

I'm writing this two days later than I meant to because, uh, reasons, but anyway... 5/2/20 was my 24th birthday! Yessiree, that's one year closer to my quarter-life crisis—which I totally won't be having, since everything is just peachy. *cough*

Being in quarantine meant keeping celebrations to a minimum, and I pushed that minimum as far down as it could possibly go; I've never been one for big, gaudy celebrations, anyway. When I was a kid, I was more than happy to spend my b-day in the local McDonald's PlayPlace with a few friends, and that mentality essentially hasn't changed. Except I'd rather not risk my life crawling around in the germs of countless other kids for hours on end, or, y'know, eat McDonald's if I can avoid it.

All I asked for this year: Monster Curry from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild for the main course,Estus from Dark Souls to imbibe (which I can only say because there's whisky in it), and Chu Jelly from The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword to top things off for dessert. And that's exactly what I got, as you can see in the picture (except for the Chu Jelly, which I forgot to snap a photo of). The curry was just the right mix of sweet and spicy; the Estus went down a little too easily; the Chu Jelly, unfortunately, was universally agreed to be too bitter thanks to the use of tonic water.

The indubitable highlight of the day, though, was the Smash tournament I set up between my parents. My siblings and I have been playing Smash since we were in diapers, so we all know what we're doing; except for my sister, we've all attended competitive events for the two most recent entries in the series. My parents, on the other hand... well, they're aware that Smash exists and acutely aware of our love for it. Put a controller in their hands, though, and they'd be no better than a 4-year-old—probably worse.

With that in mind, I declared they would fight to entertain me on my b-day, gladiators for a new day and age. I also offered my coaching services—free, mind you—for half an hour each, if they so desired, in the hopes that I could reduce the amount of flailing and button mashing by a fraction of a percent. They both took me up on it, my mom picking Mewtwo and my stepdad picking Donkey Kong.

I immediately learned two things: (1) I did not inherit the teaching gene from my mom, and (2) my siblings and I take a lot of basic video game functions for granted. The concept of moving in the air while jumping—to say nothing of jumping itself—took them both several minutes to grasp. And, hey, fair enough; video game physics usually don't translate to real life, especially when it comes to Smash (e.g., swords sending you flying instead of slicing skin and bone).

With the scent of battle on the wind, we video-called my stepbrothers (who live in Connecticut, and thus who we haven't seen since quarantine began) to view the bloodshed. And by bloodshed I mean the equivalent of two toddlers hitting each other with stuffed animals. Everything I'd taught them went down the drain in a picosecond—which is exactly what I expected, but... *sigh*

A total of three scuffles took place, all of which my stepdad won by two devious methods: (1) spamming the same move as my mom ran into it, or (2) spamming the same move as my mom ran away from it, straight off the stage and to her demise. Just how a scrap between Donkey Kong and Mewtwo would really go. Either way, my mom slapped my stepdad's leg every time she lost a life in game.

The rest of the day consisted of playing Persona 5 Royal, rewatching a few episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender, and reading. An extremely nerdy, low-cost b-day. That's the way I like it.

Oh, and for anyone wondering, I play Ike and Link in Smash. They've been my mains for three iterations of the series now: Brawl, 4 (along with Roy), and Ultimate. They are pillars in my life as much as writing is, except they don't make me any money. There's the rub, folks.